Hi, my name is Dave, and apparently I look a lot like Will Ferrell. I’m used to it by now – random strangers asking me whether I know that I look like him. I just nod and smile. Please go away, random stranger, and leave me in peace in my Ferrell lookalike life.
The summer before last, my significant other and I were sitting at a table on a patio at the Black Bull with friends. Some women at the next table over kept staring at us. I thought it might be because of our conversation – all of us except for me are runners, and they were talking about various gruesome running-related injuries and digestive problems. But then a woman who had had a few adult beverages came over and said that it was her birthday and could she have her picture taken with me, since I looked so much like Will Ferrell? I said sure, whatever, and assembled my face into some simulation of a smile while I wound up in some complete stranger’s Facebook photo album. It’s all part of life’s rich pageant.
Recently, I’ve started looking at photos of Will Ferrell, and I guess I can see the resemblance. We both have high cheekbones and deeply set eyes, and similar lines on our face when we smile. But I’m seven years older than he is, and I have more hair. So I win at life, if you don’t count that he is probably more financially stable than I am. But details.
I don’t think I ever want to meet him, though I do wonder whether I could have a fallback career as a Will Ferrell impersonator. (I just looked it up – we’re about the same height.) He’s also a dead ringer for Chad Smith of the Red Hot Chili Peppers – who is also the same height – so perhaps we’re all being stamped out of a mold or something. Maybe somebody who knows me once ran into him at an airport and said hello to what he or she thought was me only to discover that they were talking to Will Ferrell and were about to be ruthlessly manhandled by his entourage. (I assume that he has an entourage.) Or maybe there are enough people that look like him out in the world that people just assume that he is some ordinary guy who looks like Will Ferrell, so he can travel alone and unbothered except for the occasional random stranger who calls him Dave.
I suppose that there’s worse people to look like. I also apparently look like the guy from the Smoke’s Poutinerie ads. Ugh. I don’t want to go there.